My mom used to tell me the story about a parent that got called into the elementary school principal’s office when her child was in first grade. It wasn’t that she was in trouble, the school was concerned that she may end up getting beat up on the playground because she was often found advocating for the kids who couldn’t protect themselves from the bullies. She had a big heart and sometimes a big mouth to go with it! She was also probably the smallest, skinniest and most uncoordinated kid in the school…so her chances of taking anyone on physically were not good!
Additionally, her parents didn’t have a great deal of money…in fact, there were times they didn’t have money at all. Although it was kept hidden from many, they lived in some pretty brutal and deplorable conditions. They had to move many times due to unpaid rent and the little girl attended a plethora of schools. It took a great deal of energy and heartache to start over on a regular basis. Tack on the fact that her mother was extremely ill and died very young, it was a recipe for impending psychological warfare of mind over matter. Before I tell you anything more about the outcome of this little girl’s story, I have a question. Is there really such a thing as mind over matter?
You see, we have these memories, sometimes suppressed…sometimes at the surface. We continuously relive these events from the perspective of our younger selves where we didn’t really have any control over our individual situations. These experiences dictate our current beliefs, ideas and actions, even though as adults, we do have control and choices. In most cases, we live out our lives not even understanding why we react or feel the way we do. (Overspending, hoarding, weight control issues, narcissism, abusiveness, helicopter parenting, insecurity, substance abuse, anxiety, depression, marital choices…the list goes on)
Let’s use me as an example. I was a person who was living my life (and sometimes still do) out of fear from my own limiting beliefs and difficult memories. It took some major life events to finally seek the guidance I needed to understand why I responded and acted differently in situations than the person next to me. There were many cases where my actions were to my benefit and made me a very successful business person and entrepreneur. In other situations, I was downright afraid to move in any direction as some of those experiences paralyzed my decision-making. (Is it normal to keep “emergency water bottles” in your car in case it breaks down out in the middle of nowhere?…probably not when you live in the city)
Behold the awakening! After doing a massive restructuring of my life and my way of thinking, focusing on my own energy field, I am generally able to stop listening to the critical part of myself, the “bully” voice that tells me the stories from the perspective of a helpless child. I now listen to what my intuition is really telling me. When I do start listening to the critic, I use my coaching skills to ask myself the hard questions. In return, I feel the relief, confidence and self-love I’ve been seeking from others. Living out of fear is not really living. Giving in to those limiting beliefs and that inner critic is what imprisons us in our narrow view of what is possible. When you leave those beliefs behind, your possibilities are limitless.
Through thousands of hours of managing people and hundreds of hours of coaching certification which includes not only training but also requires actual coaching of peers and clients, I’ve had the chance to listen to many people tell me how their past holds them hostage and their experiences, limiting beliefs and inner voices dictate their decisions. I get to ask them questions to help them uncover the things that are buried so deep, yet control their every thought. I get to hear them tell me how things are now so clear and they finally feel the weight lifted as they realize how they’ve narrowed their focus on their “delegated” issue and didn’t realize all of the contributing thoughts and experiences that were holding them back in so many other ways. We make a plan and take action to move them to their goals and desires. They feel hope and freedom again.
Now, back to the story. What about that little girl? What happened to her?
You may have figured out by now, that little girl is me. The awesome part of this story is that this time I’m advocating for YOU on YOUR playground! NO BULLIES ALLOWED!